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Today’s Listener Question:
“I have a question! This is related, I believe, to all three areas of your podcast, Biblical Discipleship, a Healthy Marriage, and a Godly Family. What do you believe the Bible says about spankings, both in the Old and New Testaments? Should we or shouldn’t we based on what we read in the Scriptures? At my stage in life, I do not think I need to ponder how, though I am wondering if we should and what are the implications (theological, mental, cultural) of physical discipline of one’s children. What are your thoughts?” – from email
corporal punishment -noun
: punishment that involves hitting someone : physical punishment
A corporal punishment or a physical punishment is a punishment which is intended to cause physical pain to a person. – No! No! No!
Problems:
1. Punishment – this is not a biblical goal for parents. Punishment does not equal correction. Many people equate the two, Do NOT punish your children!
2. Intended to cause pain – again, this is not the purpose or intention of any biblical parent! The purpose of biblical parenting is shepherding a child’s heart toward Jesus. For example, the slight emotional pain of being deprived of a toy only helps with focus and communicating the seriousness of the correction, the purpose is not to cause pain, but to encourage heart change.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, limit setting, redirecting, and setting future expectations. The AAP recommends that parents do not use spanking, hitting, slapping, threatening, insulting, humiliating, or shaming. – https://www.verywellfamily.com/facts-about-corporal-punishment-1094806, (accessed 12/15/2022)
Criticism of CP:
1. It Makes Behavior Worse -can cause aggression in future
2. It Is Ineffective – no better than a time out
3. It Hurts Relationships – particularly between parent and child
4. It Is Linked to Mental Illness – depression, anxiety, etc
“Discipline shouldn’t be about controlling kids. Instead, it should be about teaching them to control themselves. As a result, it is best to use strategies that will help your children learn from their mistakes while also cultivating better decision-making skills. “ (cited above)
Proverbs 23:13-14 KJV
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest (discipline) him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 13:24
Proverbs 29:15
Proverbs 19:18
Proverbs 22:15
Ephesians 6:4
Keys to Correction
1. Your attitude
You can NOT correct your child properly if YOU are angry.
2. God’s Word is the Foundation. He is the ultimate judge and one we obey. Point your child to what God has to say about their behavior, but more importantly, their heart.
3. Child’s attitude
You are correcting a heart condition. Help your child see their own heart and motives for behavior.
Pray with them and for them.
4. Correction should be matched to the child and their needs, there is no universal “method” that works with all children at all stages of their spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical growth. MOST children can probably be corrected without spanking or other physical means most of the time. But it is more difficult, and there are some children who will be almost impossible to reach without serious effort if those tools are removed.
5. Consistency is King. Yes means Yes and No means No. ALL THE TIME! Consistency from an early age means less effort is required later, when children’s rebellion is more difficult to handle. Let your children learn that you always mean what you say while they are young and DO NOT change that. If you must error, err toward Yes. Protect your NO. It has to mean something.
6. If the parents do not agree or have different rules, all parenting for both parents is more challenging than it is supposed to be. Talk about and agree on the rules you will enforce. You weaken your spouses role in the home if you don’t back them up. Kids will play parents off of each other and try to manipulate you. Stick together!
7. Time with your children, playing, talking, working, serving, etc will make parenting easier. The better you know your children the better you are able to shepherd them toward Jesus.